— Ulysses Grant had a “perfect speech” that he used on several occasions beginning in 1865. From Grant: A Biography (1982), by William S. McFeely: (via historical-nonfiction)
- Me: Where are the owls? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?
- Hooters Waitress: Please sir, you're causing a fuss and disturbing the other customers-
- Me: *banging my hands rhythmically on the table* WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE-ARE-THE-OWLS? WHERE ARE THE OWLS?